**Guest Post** You Know You're An Allergy Parent When…

Being an allergy parent is not an easy job. There are a lot of things you have to look out for, and there are sometimes lots of things you need to avoid. Raising a child with an allergy is also informative. There is a lot you get to learn about health and nutrition when raising an allergy child. I’m Lucy, I have two children with cow’s milk protein allergy, and I’m here to share my thoughts on allergies and parenting.

You know you’re an allergy parent when...

There’s an emergency snack stash in every pocket

In general, snacks are bargaining chips or welcome distractions. But, when you’re an allergy parent, emergency snacks are crucial.

You may be out for lunch and the cafe you stumbled upon doesn’t have an option for your little one. Or, you might get held up in traffic or queuing, and the only option to calm your hungry offspring in an emergency is with your snack stash. Because you can’t just grab anything off the shelves, you’re excellent at forward planning.

There’s always a full change of clothes

I’m sure you can picture the scene. You’re on your way somewhere, you lift your child from their car seat, and you rapidly realise that they must have eaten something a few hours to a day ago. The nappy’s off, the clothes are off, there are wipes flying out of the pack faster than you can say allergic reaction. But, stress not. You’re used to this, you clear it all up and move on.

You get the feels when you discover a new ‘safe’ food

No matter your child’s allergies, when you can find new foods that are compatible with their diet, it can open up a whole host of new meal options. Whether your allergy win was discovering Coop sausage rolls were dairy free, or Pizza Express do gluten free bases, that’s another meal option sorted.

You eat banned food when they’re not looking

Kids can sense foods they can’t have from a mile off. You know you’re an allergy parent when you can stealthily eat a whole host of banned foods whilst no one is looking, and no one ever finds out.

You’ve got better research skills than the FBI

When going somewhere new you feel it is important to check the kinds of food offered. This saves a lot of anxiety, panic and disappointment, and it’s a particular must when you have a fussy child.

You give Mrs Hinch a run for her money

When occupying eateries and public places, cleanliness standards can be a stretch. Other parents who don’t have to deal with allergies may label you as over-protective. But high chairs cleaned with bacterial wipes and food picked off the floors of soft plays are just two of your ‘favourite’ pastimes, and you excel at them.

Your head spins with reaction confusion

Depending on the severity of the allergy, sometimes it is hard to tell if it is really a reaction or a bug. Overthinking is a frequent threat in this situation, and you start thinking back to what your child ate for the last few meals. Sometimes you have to stop trying to micromanage the situation and just get on with dishing out the cuddles...and the piriton.

The pain of explaining the allergies hits you every time

You know you’re an allergy parent when you’re frequently having to explain why your child can’t eat this, or play with that. You sometimes have to explain to people the reason why, including symptoms experienced and severity of consequences. Sometimes all you want is for someone to get it, and when you find those people, you can relax and be yourselves. You cherish those people.

Being a parent to a child with allergies has its challenges. It can be super-stressful, it can be heartbreaking, and it can be messy! As an allergy parent you’re used to having stealthy research skills, you’re brilliantly organised and the overflowing protection and love for your child is second to none. You’re an allergy parent, and you’ve got this!

---

About Lucy:

Hello! I'm Lucy, I write over at Real Parent. I’m a mum of 3 keeping it real. Join me for hints, tips, rants and lols as I wing it through parenthood.

                                        

I’m a Blogger in the UK who helps parents to feel more normal by sharing the reality of parenting. You’ll find real, authentic talk about postnatal mental health, childhood allergies, pregnancy, breastfeeding and lots more. My posts will make you cry, laugh, and feel like you’re not alone.

Guest Post - The Modern Day Dad

Today we have a guest post from Han-Son at DaddiLife

The modern day dad - are we really ready?                      

I tried something different on Saturday. A dad’s club run by a local nursery. It was brilliant - not just for the kids - I mean who wouldn’t love Den Making, Sand Pits, Story Time, and all wrapped up with a lovely hot chocolate!?

But it was also great to simply socialise with a few other dads in the local area. As a dad who works full time, it can be tricky to get out and meet other dads, especially in a new town - so these moments are actually pretty good all-round.

I’ve spoken to a fair few other people about the experience since, and I’d estimate around 70% have seen it as a joke in some way - “what, really?” “Why do they waste their money on that,” and my personal favourite - “I don’t get that at all.”

I tried to explain that it’s there to encourage more bonding time with our children, and also meet new dads (and it was also free!).

But the whole thing also got me thinking about where things are at with the modern day dad.

Dads want to be more active

It’s a subject with a huge range of different factors, and with over 250,000 stay at home dads now, it’s clear that a shift is starting to happen rapidly across the UK.

But even though study after study shows how fathers want to be more actively involved dads across almost every area of their parenting life – there’s still a strong sense that the wider attitude in business and society is anything but.

Mums are not the only target

Everywhere we look, the world is parenting is still a vastly mum dominated world. And, hey, that’s not really a complaint as we have to realise that mums have been, over the last few decades, the de-facto primary caregiver.

But as more mums are breaking barriers of their own (and quite rightly), dads need to be doing the same. And some dads are starting to make their voices heard – where something as previously unquestioned like a ‘Mother and Baby’ aisle are now shifting to convey a more balanced sense of parenting.

Why did it take so long?

There are however, still a huge range of areas that need more dad’s focus. Everything from changing rooms, baby screenings at the cinema, and products from health through to even everyday items like the kids water bottles– it’s time we got our heads out of thinking as mum as the only caregiver, and start to reflect the facts of modern dad life.

It’s not just a UK issue ofcourse, but when you consider that New York is now ahead of most UK cities when it comes to nappy changing rooms being more accessible for dads, you realise quite how far we have to go yet.

Can dads find their voice in 2018?

As we embrace 2018, I hope that more dads can make their voices heard and get the organisation’s thinking about the parenting balance that our modern day attitudes really reflect.

Only through that will we start to evolve the way we as a larger society talk, see and hear about parenting, and who knows, perhaps we’ll even start to take the humble dad’s club even more seriously.

Author Bio

Han-Son runs DaddiLife – a parenting website for dads with a range of tips and advice across health, things to do, and reviews  - exclusively focused on the modern day dad.

Guest Post - Toddler Tantrums by BattleMum

Toddler tantrums are part of the parenting course and for me Freddie is definitely in the "Terrible Twos!" 

Today we have this fantastic post all about dealing with them from the lovely Passports and Adventures

5 top tips for dealing with toddler tantrums.

Unfortunately, tantrums are part and parcel of having children. You show me one child that hasn’t had a few in their little lives. Even the best-behaved children have them from time to time and we, as parents, have to accept this fact.

I have had to deal with many, from low-range tantrums because our son wanted to close the dishwasher to a full on screaming meltdown because I dared to put his post-nursery snack on the wrong plate. How was I supposed to know he wanted his Mickey Mouse plate instead of Thomas the Tank Engine?

I have a few tips for dealing with toddler tantrums. Some may work, some may not, but these are the ones I employ when our son goes off on one.

1.   Distract them. There are certain situations at home when I know a tantrum could manifest itself and during these times I do my best to distract our son, so it doesn’t happen. For instance, if I switch off the TV before bedtime I always have something else to do in reserve, so he will hopefully not notice it going off such as getting his George teddy bear and his dummy ready, when he had one. Distraction can also work during minor tantrums. Our son often helps me unload the washing machine but once the clothes are hung he’ll often want to put them back in. If I say no, he might kick off, so I ask him to help me with something else. If Mr. Independent thinks there is something else he can ‘help with’ the tantrum usually dissipates.

2.  Talk to them. This can either be used to distract them or to try find out what it is they want or what is upsetting them. Sometimes our son gets a thought in his head and if he can’t do it/find it he kicks off. He also sometimes gets frustrated that he cannot relay what it is he wants, and this can sometimes set him off. I find if I get down to his level, hold his hands, make eye contact and speak to him calmly, he’ll try his best to tell me what it is he wants. It often turns out to be a toy he put down in the morning that he suddenly remembers and wants again. Also, gently talking to them during a tantrum such as “I know you are tired, I’m sorry we were out so long” can help calm them down if you remain calm and talk to them in a gentle voice. We don’t give toddlers enough credit for understanding more than they can say.

3.   Avoid situations where they can arise. This may not always be possible and continuing from my first point there are things I avoid to prevent tantrums. I don’t eat or drink anything in front of our son that I don’t want him having, such as chocolate. This might sound mean, but sugar has a big effect on him. I don’t force him to eat when he doesn’t want to, and I let him decide if he’s had enough at meal times. I try to let him choose his own bedtime stories to avoid tantrums then. I also try to make the minimal fuss before bedtime, sticking to our routine as much as possible. Little things like this have helped me avoid some tantrums, some but not all.

4.   Let them have the tantrum. Sometimes you just have to let them get on with it. We must remember that toddlers don’t yet understand their emotions, let alone know how best to deal with them and sometimes you just have to let them get it out of their system. We all know the benefits of having a good cry and the same can be said of toddlers. If we get to this stage I do one of three things. A.  Walk away from our son. B. Stay silent but in the same room. C. Sit silently near him if he’ll let me. Once he’s calmed down he’ll usually come in for a cuddle, and it never lasts more than a few minutes.

5.   Mimic them. This is either used as a last resort in our house or if the tantrum is a mini one. Copying him sometimes shocks him into silence with the confusion of what mum is doing. But be warned, this can have the opposite effect so use it wisely and sparingly. When it works in a positive effect we usually end up laughing together and the tantrum is gone and forgotten about.

These are by no means the only ways of dealing with toddler tantrums but are the ones I’ve used to try to avoid or stop them in their tracks. I’ve used them since our son was one and a few are still valid even today, aged 4. These have worked best for us between the ages of 18 months and 3 years old. I’ve found as he gets older, talking to him and getting down to his level have been most effective, as has distracting him. And although the tantrums continue today, they are much fewer and far between than in previous years as we can communicate with one another better. I doubt they’ll ever fully stop as the pre-teen and teenage years are yet to come.

Thank you for this brilliant post! I will definitely be trying some of these out on Freddie! Most of his tantrums are normally about James going to school!!

You can find BattleMum on Facebook,Twitter, and Instagram